Trying times

Will the constant screaming and fussiness ever stop?  Seriously, how do single moms do this?  I feel like I've got an F in the mom category today, for sure.  Josh went to class last night and things were normal at the house.  I actually was able to clean up the kitchen while Oliver was still awake.  For some reason, 6:30 rolled around and all hell broke loose.  There was literally NOTHING I could do to appease him.  He just eats and eats and screams in between.  Like we are starving him or something.  I took a photo of him screaming because all of his food was gone but I'm guessing I shouldn't share that one because one day he will be embarrassed by that. 

Honestly, I don't feel like a good mom at all today.  I finally had to take a break, put him in his crib, shut the door and went downstairs for about 20 minutes until Josh got home from class and he took care of him.  Then I spent the rest of my waking evening checking on Oliver, wanting to wake him up and tell him how sorry I am that I got frustrated with him.  I can normally calm him by putting him in the bathtub and letting him splash around.  Last night?  Not so much.  What am I doing wrong??  Does he have another ear infection that we need to attend to?  Is this parenthood thing EVER going to get easier?

In a word, I'm defeated.  Absolutely defeated today.  Plus, Josh's mom bailed on our dinner plans and gave no explanation so I have officially closed my heart to her forever. 

I'm hoping in a month or so I will look back on posts like this and laugh, seeing my content baby flourishing.  I really hope other mamas have days like this.  Today I pray for strength and guidance.  Nothing more. 

No matter how crazy our house gets, these two still stick together.