Thursday, May 31, 2012

Insanity

I never in a billion years thought I'd ever be doing this post.  Let alone so soon.  But....


Yep, it's true.

There is no way this is real life.  It's still insanely early and I should not be blogging or telling anyone about this just yet.  But I decided with Oliver that I would not be afraid to enjoy being pregnant and I told pretty much everyone from almost day one.  Whether or not something bad happened is irrelevant.  At this point, I love this baby just as much as Oliver and I'm so hopeful for his/her future.

Josh seems to be excited as well.  The grin on his face when I told him it was positive was hilarious.  My cycles have been so messed up from having Oliver that I'm not 100% sure how far along I am, although if I had to guess I'm thinking I'm due January 31, 2013.

So, there's my big news.  I haven't even had 24 hours to let it soak in yet.  It was very appropriate for me that I found this out the day my family laid my grandmother to rest.  Such a horrible beginning to a day that ended with such amazing news.

I want to take a second to say, and I do mean this with every fiber of my being, my heart aches for those who have trouble getting pregnant.  I will never understand why or how this seems to happen without difficulty for me and Josh.  Please know that I will NEVER take it for granted.  I think about women with fertility problems all the time and I get so sad.  I wish everyone could experience the joy of seeing a positive test.  I hope these don't seem like platitudes because I could not be more genuine.  I pray every night for other women who desperately want a baby.  May you find your happiness very, very soon.

Obviously I will keep this blog updated now as the weeks progress.  Hopefully I'll be able to get an appointment with my OB soon so I can get a definite due date.

Thanks for stopping by!  Wow, let the crazy ride begin again.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Humpday Randoms

Hope everyone is having a good short week thus far!  It's hard to believe it's already Wednesday. 

Oliver was a little bear last night and fell asleep at 6:30.  Will you hate me if I say he slept until 7:15 this morning?  Pretty sure something must be up with my little guy because he loves to sleep but not that much!!

Apparently projectile vomit is normal?  At least according to the ancient doctor we saw yesterday.  Supposedly he should start growing out of that when he's 6 months old.  Seriously, is there a magic button that gets pushed at their 6 month birthday?

My GMA is being buried today.  Nope, I don't get to be there.  I had a really difficult time last night knowing the visitation was happening and I was in South Carolina.  Guess time heals all wounds.  Well, at least I hope they do anyway.  I really have no reason to ever go to Virginia again now.

Oliver is almost sitting unassisted now.  It's hilarious to watch him try to balance himself without falling over.  Sidenote:  He's apparently the size of a 14 month old. Oops.

I am starting my weight loss journey on Sunday, come hell or high water.  Not sure if I'll go the formal Weight Watchers route or just do what I remember.  I know for a fact we will start running again (god help me).  My self esteem literally does not exist right now and I'm hoping this will help some.  I don't think it's possible for me to feel any worse about myself than I do right now.

I need suggestions on a type of ring to wear since apparently pregnancy didn't agree with my skin and I can no longer wear my wedding ring.  Any suggestions?

For some reason he looks like a little boy to me today.



Well I hope everyone is having a great week so far!  

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Still here

I'm still here.  I know it probably seems like I've dropped off the planet lately.  Between the holiday weekend and losing my GMA, I just haven't felt much like blogging or talking about anything.  My GMA is being buried tomorrow which means I miss her funeral.  The only grandparent I have left in the world and I don't even get to say goodbye to her.  So yeah, there's that.  That's not something that can be done over and I don't know how I'll ever be able to move past that. 

Anyway, we took Oliver to the pool and lake for the first time this past weekend and I think the jury is still out on both of them.  He fell asleep in the pool and screamed at the lake.  Hopefully he'll learn to love water like his mama.



Oliver's friend Jackson is 5 weeks younger than him and I'm thinking Oliver may be a bit of a behemoth compared to Jackson.  Oliver wanted to eat Jackson's clothes and I don't think that went over so well.


The relationship between these two has blossomed in the past few weeks and it is just so sweet to watch.  She gets that he's someone else to pet her.  Dewey?  Nope, not so much.  He's still scared of Oliver. 


This weekend was spent mostly in bathing suits and sporting mohawks.  I could squeal with delight that it seems like every day that passes, his hair gets lighter and lighter.  It's such a small thing but him being a towhead with those big blue eyes is swoon-worthy.   



Baby boy spent the entire weekend in a bad mood so he was a little under the weather (hence why he slept in his Rock N Play).  I was one tired and upset mama by Sunday night.  I feel like such a failure, let me tell you.  He also discovered how to scream at the top of his lungs so that's been fun. 


He did find the time to really discover his feet.  Apparently these things are the best toys ever invented.  Well, besides Sophie.


I know this is all such riveting stuff today so sorry for the picture dump.  I'm having a really difficult time lately and I'm really hoping I can snap out of it soon.  Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and your short week is starting off right!

Big thanks to JCC for taking care of Oliver twice for me this weekend.  Seriously, I'm not sure I'd still be sane if she wasn't around.  No, I know I wouldn't be sane if she weren't here. 

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Heavy heart

This is the post I've been dreading for months now.  I feel like I can't even begin to wrap my mind around this at all.  This morning, my grandmother passed away in her sleep.  There, I said it.  I cannot believe my grandparents are gone.  Poof, just gone.  I literally cannot look at the pictures of my GMA and Oliver right now because they are just too painful.  It breaks my heart every time I think about how he will never know her. 

There will be much debate from everyone about how their GMA is better or they had the best life.  I'll let you have that thought.  But, all of us Kahle grandchildren will know for the rest of our lives who had the best set of grandparents. 

Trips to the beach, laughter abounding, Christmases that involved so many presents you literally couldn't see the floor...that was our childhood.  For the most part, everyone seemed to get along really well and we always had the best time together.  Although it is a bit odd to think about, the night before our grandfather's funeral, all the grandchildren spent the night at their house and I can honestly say that was the most fun I've ever had.  All of this to say, we're a pretty tight family.

We have lost our matriarch.  This is just so unimaginable to me.  I wrote something for my grandpa's funeral but the idea of putting pen to paper to explain just how wonderful my GMA is is virtually impossible.  Scratch that, it is impossible.  I could explain quantum physics before I could say how amazing she is. 










The last picture is how I choose to remember you, Grandma.  Thank you for being such an amazing person and showing me how to cook and be a better person.  I am so glad your pain is over and you're able to be with Grandpa again.  I will love you until I get to see you again.  Glenna Mae, you made the world a much better place by being here and it won't ever be the same without you. 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Humpday Randoms

I mohawked Oliver's hair at bedtime and it stayed that way all night!  He he, my little guy will be the boy wearing smocked clothing with his hair all spiked up.


I mean, come on right?  Sigh, he's just so awesome sometimes. 

My mom called me last night and said that my grandmother might not make it through the night so I started crying.  I guess Oliver hasn't picked up on emotional cues yet so I look over and he's laughing and laughing.  Can't be upset with that face around, can you?

Josh and I went to a block party hosted by our neighborhood last night.  Oh my goodness, how much fun was that!?!?  We've lived in our house for almost a year and it was so much fun getting to meet some of our neighbors.  Oliver had to be dressed in style, of course.


Prayers would be appreciated for my family as we wait for my Grandmother to be relieved of her suffering.

Our plans for a beach trip had to be cancelled as we wait for word on when a funeral will be in order.

I guess I'll just put it out there that we will start trying to give Oliver a sibling next month.  I'm going to document that process to see what happens.  Probably TMI but oh well.  I know there are many women out there who struggle with getting pregnant and, like I've stated in past posts, I'm terrified I will join them.

Really hoping I can put my education to use soon.  There are just so many things about where I am now that I'm really disappointed about.  I thought this place was different from the rest where I used to work.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far.  Here's to the long weekend ahead!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sometimes and Always #1


Please excuse the bags under my eyes.  Oliver had a rough night the past two so this mama did as well.

I'm going to attempt to link up with Megan over at Mackey Madness and see if I can come up with some clever things to say today.

Sometimes:  I tell myself I'm going to go to bed early.
Always:  I end up staying up either watching tv or reading (50 Shades in my current obsession...judge me if you must).

Sometimes:  I think today is the day I'll start running again.
Always:  I'm so lazy and don't want to be bothered when I get home.

Sometimes:  I get so bitter about what's happening right now.
Always:  I look at my sweet baby and husband and realize that things sure could be a whole lot worse.

Sometimes:  I get excited thinking about having another baby sometime hopefully soon.
Always:  I panic that I'll never be able to conceive and carry to term again.

Sometimes:  I get so frustrated with the whining from Oliver that I want to get in the car and never come back.
Always:  I remember how lucky I am to have a happy, healthy baby.

Sometimes:  I want to move from here and start over again.
Always:  It feels like I will never see anything besides South Carolina again.

Sometimes:  I regret wasting my time and energy to get two degrees.
Always:  I remember what an accomplishment working full time and going to school full time was.

Sometimes:  I wish I was a better wife.
Always:  I appreciate Josh for being the best husband possible, even when I'm not the best wife.


Hope everyone is having a great week so far.  I have a cautionary tale to tell about Orbitz and their practices once I can get my thoughts out properly.  Now I must get more coffee to make up for the vomit explosion Oliver had last night and freaked me out so bad I barely slept.  



Monday, May 21, 2012

Sad

Today I am just sad.  I have harped over and over again about going to Virginia and watching my GMA slowly waste away so I won't belabor the point.  We got back late last night and fought Oliver to go back to sleep since the car lights woke him up.  This mama had to run on very little sleep today.  So glad today is finally over!!  We did learn that leaving Columbia to wherever we were traveling after Oliver's nightly routine and letting him sleep works amazing.  So, we can put that in the W column.





I know this post is riveting stuff today.  I'm so tired (like Josh was above) and mentally drained.  It breaks my heart seeing my GMA fade like this and to watch my family makes it even more difficult.  We did steal a few moments of happy while we were there so I am thankful for that.  Oliver really seems to love his Nana T and I'm thankful she has been able to spend so much time with him.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend!!! 

Friday, May 18, 2012

Inside the Actors Studio

I am a tv junkie and have watched this show pretty much for as long as I can remember.  I see a lot of bloggers today are doing random posts so I figured I'd answer the famous questions James Lipton does at the end of each interview.  You get to learn more about me AND I get to answer these questions.  Win/win!!!


1. What is your favorite word?
Schematic.  Just sounds fun!

2. What is your least favorite word?
Fat

3. What turns you on?
A clean shaven man wearing a bow tie

4. What turns you off?
Facial hair (gross)

5. What sound do you love?
Baby laughter.  Like the belly laugh kind

6. What sound do you hate?
Whining

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Sorry but I have to do it....f*ck

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Doctor.  I just find them so inspiring, especially the good ones with a good bedside manner

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Lawyer.  Worked for so many over the past 10+ years...no thanks


10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Everyone is welcome, regardless of what other people think.  Come on in!

I should have added these questions to my Bucket List post because I have always wanted to answer these but just never had a reason to.  So, there ya go!  Just a little more about me

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  Josh and I are about to head to Virginia  and we are trying to be smart and leave at 7, Oliver's normal bedtime.  Oh sweet mother of God, please don't let him scream the entire way like the last trip to Virginia.  I literally don't think I can handle that.  Baby screaming in the car is another sound I hate. 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Easter Pictures

I know this post will not have much substance to it because it's so picture heavy but I just had to share.  On Good Friday, I had the day off and Oliver was not being himself so off to the pediatrician we went.  Once again, the verdict was ear infection.  I feel like a broken record about that sometimes.  Well, my sweet boy had to endure 6 shots of Rocephin over 3 days, in hopes of finally clearing up this stupid effing ear infection that had plagued him for 8 weeks.  After the shots we had to wait at the pediatrician's office for 20 minutes to make sure he didn't have a reaction.  Now, my boy is like his mama and wants nothing to do with being patient about anything.  So, needless to say, Easter weekend was a disaster in a lot of ways.  However, we were able to sneak away on Sunday afternoon to Charlotte, have lunch, take these pictures and stroll through Ikea for the day.  We have no family here so there aren't sweet family traditions to make or time spent all day eating ham, hunting for eggs, etc.  I know at some point we will need to make better holiday traditions (considering we went to Waffle House on Christmas last year...don't judge me, my child was 9 days old and sick) but for now these are perfect.

Surprisingly, Oliver cooperated and we managed to get some really cute shots.  I am so, so thankful for these.  Jennifer, our photographer, captured our engagement pictures for us and was able to do these as well.  I LOVE them!









Our photographer can be found Here

These photos could not have been more perfect, especially considering the trying weekend we had.  Also, the timing of receiving them was perfect because my GMA is declining rapidly and I know my mom has appreciated her spirits being lifted.

We are off again to Virginia to see the family.  I can't even begin to describe how hard this is but I am embracing the photos we get to keep of her with Oliver.  I know he won't remember her but I will try my hardest to remind him what a wonderful person she is and how much she loved him. 

Thanks for stopping by.  I hope you like the photos as much as we do.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Five Months

I will start by saying it's absolutely cliche to write this but these past five months have flown by.  I cannot believe this time five months ago I was recovering from my csection and marveling at having a brand new baby.  I commented to Josh last night that Oliver is starting to become really fun to be around.  Aside from not being able to eat a meal in peace and being vomited on A LOT, I am entering a new phase of motherhood that's so fun.

My Dear, Sweet Oliver:

Today you are five months old.  Just yesterday, on May 15, 2012, right before bedtime, you decided you wanted to roll over from back to front.  You were so proud of yourself and have done it at least ten times since then.  I swear you look like you want to crawl so bad.



We also realized you are ticklish and have the most intoxicating laugh I've ever heard.


We took our first trip to the beach this month and you seemed to like it, although I'm not sure you really cared all that much either way.  At least we will have memories to share with you one day when you do really love the beach and aren't just there tagging along with us.


Our first Mother's Day was just before your Five Month Birthday and I could not have been more proud.  It was surreal to have people telling me all day Happy Mother's Day.  I honestly had to look behind me a few times, thinking are they talking to me?  I am so thankful that I was chosen to be your mama and that you gave me the pleasure of celebrating my first Mother's Day with a child in my arms.  Last year, I was carrying you in my belly, wondering what it would be like to actually be a mama.  It has been worth every struggle and trial thus far.



Your amazing daycare made a gift for me from you and I will treasure this always.




 One thing I will forever be thankful for is how much you genuinely love waking up and starting your day.  You never wake up cranky and always have the biggest smile on your face when I come get you out of your crib.  You will jabber to yourself and let mama take a shower and get ready (on most mornings) and for that I will forever be grateful.


You have been a little under the weather, I believe, so you've taken to sleeping in your Rock n Play the past few nights.  It might be bad to admit this but I'm kind of okay with this because it means you're close to us and I can just wake up and look at you without going in your room to disturb you.


There has been no shortage of new clothes to dress you in and I love that you don't mind being my little dress up doll.  I really hope I can hold on to this little boy for as long as you'll possibly let me.


My only complaint is the spit up.  Man do you like to vomit on me.  I get so frustrated and don't know how to help you anymore!  We have tried everything and nothing works.  Good thing we love you anyway!


Your Stats:

Height:  Unknown
Weight:  22 pounds
Size Diaper:  3 

Oliver, you are the light of our world and everyone you meet is a better person because of you.  Thank you for being my sweet boy.  I cannot wait for the many months and years to come.

Love,

Mama

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The animals

So I've noticed that Oliver has become more and more aware of the other babies living in our house recently.  I have no pictures of him and Roxie together because, well, I'm pretty sure she thinks he's the devil.  I try to limit his interaction with her as much as possible because I don't want permanent scars on him from her flipping out.  I say that in jest but there is a part of me that worries for her when he gets older.


Even when he was a balding, hating tummy time little man, Oliver has had constant watchful eyes on him.


Usually in the morning, I put Oliver on my bed while I'm getting ready and these two will hang out either napping or waiting to be fed.  Vultures, I tell you.


Izzie has decided to be adventurous lately and she will even come lay next to him, especially when he's sleeping.  When he's flailing around, making noises, both the cats and Dewey seem to scatter.  Either Gertrude is too stupid or she just doesn't care one way or the other.


I've noticed, especially lately, that Gertrude is usually not too far away from wherever Oliver is.  Either because he means food or she's just a maternal sweet girl.  Whatever the reason, it's very heart warming to see.  I noticed this morning (when this photo was taken) that Gertrude had sat down next to me while Oliver was in my lap and he was petting her.  So sweet!!!  That commercial where riding the dog like a horse being frowned upon in this establishment will not apply to the Branham household.  I can't wait to watch Oliver's love for animals develop.

I guess I am posting this in hopes of getting some feedback on how others have handled their children and pets?  I don't want to shelter Oliver in any way and want him to know that our pets are our family as well but I don't want to do that to his or their detriment.  Do I just let this relationship happen organically?  Do I put up boundaries? 

When I found out I was pregnant, one of the first things I thought about was the animals in our household and how to make sure any of our children grew up with a respect for them.  I may be wrong but none of my feelings about them have changed since Oliver came home from the hospital.  If anything, having a baby and dogs has provided even more entertainment.  I wish I could upload the video from when we brought Oliver through the door the first time.  That experience will forever be imprinted on my mind and heart.  Poor Dewey was so scared of him and shook like a leaf for weeks afterwards.